Who's Egg Is This?
There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to
each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in
his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day
he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in
the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw
the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the
Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he
owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on
his property.
"In my family," the Scotsman said, "we normally solve disputes by
the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it
takes you to get back up. Then you kick me in the balls and time
how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins
the egg." The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman found
his heaviest pair of boots kicked the Englishman as hard as he
could in the balls. The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his
nuts and howled in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Englishman
stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
"Keep the goddamn egg."