The Golden Fiddle
A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer's field. The
farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where the pilot
noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace.
The two men were standing there talking when the farmer's wife came
down the steps. The pilot couldn't believe how beautiful she was.
"How can you trust her to be here by herself all day, while you go
out and work the fields?"
"I trust my wife," the farmer said. "She's never been unfaithful."
"I'll make you a little bet. If I take your wife upstairs, she'll
be unfaithful. If not, you can have my plane. But, if she is, I get
your fiddle."
"It's a deal." So, the pilot and the farmer's wife go upstairs.
About a half hour passes, and the farmer picks up the fiddle and
starts playing it.
"Be true to me, Be true to me, Be true for just one hour. Be true
to me, Be true to me, And his airplane will be ours." Another
fifteen minutes pass, and suddenly he sees his wife coming down the
stairs. He asks her if she stayed true to him. She walked over,
picked up the fiddle, started playing it.
"He kissed me on the lips, He kissed me on the tits, He kissed me
in the middle. He kissed a spot that you forgot, and you lost your
fucking fiddle."