Relieving Stress in Class
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the
professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR
FLY". (At Least for the Male profs.)
4. Address the professor as "your excellency".
5. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY
EYES!"
6. Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the
chalkboard erasers.
7. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if
he's been drinking.
8. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of
your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
9. Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and
snickering.
10. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle
haffen dee henvay?" Become agitated when the professor can't
understand you.
11. Wink at the professor every few minutes. (Hey you might even
get a dateif he/she is cute.)
12. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write
"Signup Sheet#5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
13. Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.