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A lawyer dies and goes to Hell.

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He meets Satan, who says, "You are supposed to be in heaven, because you spent your life defending the rights of those who sought justice."

And so the lawyer went to Heaven.

At that same moment, a High School guidance counselor died and went to Hell.

He meets Satan, who says, "How many kids did you fuck in the head, you screwy freak? Would you like the "vultures eating your insides" or the"non-vultures eating your insides" section? We also have an opening in the boiling cauldron of oil. It's a favorite."